17 December 2009
16 December 2009
Another ginger
For a week ago or so I concidered the idea of making a ginger-bread-version of Deathstar. Then I changed my mind and didn't even make a average ginger-bread-house. So I made this simple shrine, guess you recognize it from some book that I fancy.
vi är axeln du lutar dig mot
sandsäcken
näsduken
hinken bredvid sängen
vi är askkoppen
eller kroppen, redo att krama
i din äkta desperation.
Men i hemlighet och verklighet är vi barnen
mellan isoleringsskivorna
det är oss du fyller med glasfiber
för varje glömd blick vi givit dig.
Det är vi som skyller våra dåliga
humör på trötthet, när vi egentligen
vill skrika ut i tomheten och säga
att det är det är det du fyller oss med
som gör att vi blir såhär.
För vi bad inte om att bli en askkopp
bad inte om att bli en utnyttjad kropp, redo
att krama i din äkta desperation,
vi finns inte här som du lovat,
vi är inte fiktionen du målat
i verkligheten, den hör inte hemma där
Det är du som skyller ditt dåliga
humör på att du inte har en axel att luta dig mot
samtidigt som vi kapsejsar av din tyngd,
vi kan inte bli opåverkade av ditt
dåliga humör
så därför kryper vi tillbaks till isoleringsskivorna

/Bilden av Benjamin Stengård
09 December 2009
Surprise


So today I found a banana in my mailbox.
Someone had written/whittled my adress in the banana peel.
Thank you, whoever you are, for this wonderful gift,
I sure got surprised and you brought me a big smile!
Grass - Animal collective
"My nose was screaming that you smelled
Like a lover
But my hands had to treat you
Like a brother"
02 December 2009
30 November 2009
1 second = 10 scetches
29 November 2009
entry
The wait for your time to speak grows longer as you forget to listen
So I blanch and I swear that one day they will paint the
hospital-walls with my skin. And then I'll just flake off the wall
like I never exsisted for real. It's when you talk to me like
I wasn't there, you stare nowhere, I think a wall would
make more sense, atleast a wall holds something up, damn it;
I can't even hold myself together.
Getting kissed by boys on the back of the neck
in the back of corridores.
waking up with a scratchy voice after inhaling
(what didn't seem to be) too much smoke.
And I don't even try to get out of that
made-up-bubble, No, I make that world bigger
by falling asleep to the sound of dark, french
voices. I don't understand anything but the word
"oui" but I like pretending: ("it's nothing I would
recommend, but it is one way to live")
I won't ever know how that book ends.
So I blanch and I swear that one day they will paint the
hospital-walls with my skin. And then I'll just flake off the wall
like I never exsisted for real. It's when you talk to me like
I wasn't there, you stare nowhere, I think a wall would
make more sense, atleast a wall holds something up, damn it;
I can't even hold myself together.
Getting kissed by boys on the back of the neck
in the back of corridores.
waking up with a scratchy voice after inhaling
(what didn't seem to be) too much smoke.
And I don't even try to get out of that
made-up-bubble, No, I make that world bigger
by falling asleep to the sound of dark, french
voices. I don't understand anything but the word
"oui" but I like pretending: ("it's nothing I would
recommend, but it is one way to live")
I won't ever know how that book ends.
23 November 2009
nagging
I know that my last posts have not been very mixed, but I felt like posting this...
Okay, even though this contest is only for U.S residents, I'm concidering doing it. I have a friend who lives in the states so, I thought, perhaps he could send it in his name but letting them know who did it? I actually don't care about the prizes, just thinking that a video made by me can be their musicvideo...( If I win. And I don't have any high expectations, but still.)
I just have one little problem. It has to be done 1st of january... So I haven't got much time.
And my english grammar isn't perfect, but I'm just so excited.
Okay, even though this contest is only for U.S residents, I'm concidering doing it. I have a friend who lives in the states so, I thought, perhaps he could send it in his name but letting them know who did it? I actually don't care about the prizes, just thinking that a video made by me can be their musicvideo...( If I win. And I don't have any high expectations, but still.)
I just have one little problem. It has to be done 1st of january... So I haven't got much time.
And my english grammar isn't perfect, but I'm just so excited.
22 November 2009
I wish I had a parachute 'cause I'm falling bad for yoU
(these are not made by me, I bought them at a museum in stockholm)
An attempt to think of something else. An attempt to sleep.
Owls - Oh these night-creatures, how they fascinate me with their eyes
and their wings and sounds. How they amaze me when they fly through the air,
reminding me of ghosts. I'm like an owl at the moment, I can't sleep this night.
(And my english may not be the best either)
I'm done feeling like a skeleton
och jag somnade till ljudet av halvkassa mobilinspelningar från torsdagen, och drömde samma ljuva dröm om och om igen.
21 November 2009
Ett löjligt inlägg
Helgen har varit fin, underbar, fantastiskt men mest obegripligt och jag känner mig alldeles tom såhär efteråt. Jag satt så långt ut på min plats som jag bara kunde och yrade mig igenom tre timmar som mer kändes som tre minuter. Dock var jag väldigt orolig i början av konserten, att ljudet skulle vara så grymt trasigt som det var under första låten, men det ordnades nästan direkt.Åh det ordnades... Det kändes så avlägset att sitta så långt borta, men de var ju där. De var ju faktiskt där. Det var efter två timmar som jag förstod det. Och det var ungefär då som känslorna/tårarna och löjligheten flödade. Den här helgen har jag varit sådär löjlig som man aldrig annars tillåter sig själv att vara. Och nu ska jag sörja. sörja och drömma. Och någon dag snart ska jag posta ett stort brev. Och jag kan nog inte säga mer än såhär. Och riktigt förståeligt vet jag inte om det blev. haha. Jag har helt enkelt varit en allmänt förvirrad/borttappad varelse de senaste dagarna.
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